Recently an acquaintance complained to me that her son never does what they tell him to do at home, although he usually behaves for others. I found her complaint amusing, given that her approach to child-raising seems to be an attachment parenting, child-led philosophy.
From birth, subscribers to attachment parenting essentially teach their children that they know best and are able to determine their own sleeping and eating schedules. I have witnessed this parent allow her baby/toddler demand to be fed by pulling up her blouse at random times, and the oldest child at 9 years old apparently decides when he wants to go to bed at night! It struck me as ironic then, that a parent who has told her child that he knows best and allowed him to have total control from day one would be surprised that he refuses to come under her authority and obey her rules! Isn’t that the logical consequence of this philosophy?
Unfortunately for these kids, they are going to be avoided by adults and will probably have difficulty in forming friendships, given that a good relationship requires the ability to give way to others and compromise. They need to realise that they are not the centre of the universe!
This brief interaction highlights just one reason why attachment parenting is a faulty philosophy for raising children.