Dear Pastor,
I am having some trouble with my wife. I commanded her to wear a chicken suit every time she leaves the house, but she refuses. Can you please tell her to submit to my authority since wearing a chicken suit is not sinful and would not hinder her from proclaiming the Gospel? In fact, quite the opposite. I believe this is a loving thing to do as it would bring joy to many people and open a door for sharing the Gospel. She can tell people “I’m a Christian and look how I’m submitting to my husband. Don’t you want to want to become a Christian, too?” Surely this kind of submission to authority will win many people to Christ. After all, we have been told this by many famous evangelical leaders, so it must be true. Thank you for understanding. My wife and I await your speedy reply.
Thanks,
I. M. Consistent