Getting off the Hard Road

Recently we discussed the somewhat paradoxical truth that easy choices lead to harder paths and hard choices lead to easier paths. This seems to be a general truth for life. We see it in parenting, we see it in personal finances and even in social skills.

Two Examples of Easy Choices and Hard Roads

Let’s consider students. Being diligent and spending an hour or two studying each day is certainly a hard choice to make. It would be much easier to play PlayStation every night. However, a diligent student generally ends up having more interesting choices of career and has developed the character traits which enable him to succeed in his career. On the other hand, the lazy student does not learn these things and as a consequence, is less likely to find work that he enjoys, and will often find himself working far harder than he would like for less reward.

Next, consider a single woman in her early twenties. She longs to have children one day, and she hopes to be able to be a great mum, and for her staying home with her children before school is very important. Let’s say that she’s gone to university. The hard choice is to be frugal and try to pay off student debt as soon as possible. If she chooses not to do this, she may end up with a big student loan. Failure to develop frugal habits in youth makes these habits more difficult to choose once her income stream is larger, and her big OE or a new car, and entertainment choices may mean she lives with very little in savings. Imagine she meets a young man who has had a similar approach in his early twenties. They get married and have a combined debt which if in the black would be well on the way to being a deposit on a house. Instead they now rent. Having developed poor discipline because they have always made easy choices, they continue to spend up to their income and sometimes above it. Their pay goes up, but so does their expenditure, and the rent. The easy choice to spend and live up in their twenties will cause life to be a whole lot harder in their 30s and 40s. The choices now available to our young woman are limited, and hard. She is unlikely to be able to enjoy the God-given gift of motherhood but instead will be frazzled trying to make ends meet and struggle to do justice to either her work or her family and children.

We could consider many other illustrations of this general principle. Easy choices made over time create hard paths. Difficult choices regularly chosen create character and lead to easier paths.

Reacting to the Hard Road

One of the things I have noticed is the unfortunate tendency of those on a hard road to fail to recognise the easy choices they have made that have placed them on the hard road. Despite hindsight being a wonderful thing, far too few of us experience its wonders! Instead, we tend to blame circumstances or other people for our ‘misfortune’. This is human nature. When I ram my toe on the corner of the bed, my human tendency is to be angry and blame the size of the room, or even in an entirely irrational manner another person.

However, in all honesty, most of the time, we find ourselves in circumstances largely of our own making. We have chosen step by step the position we find ourselves in. Not always mind you. Sometimes we are the victim of circumstances that are beyond our control, and people do sin against us. Yet the truth is, the hard road we are on is often of our own making.

Can one get off the hard road? This is an interesting question. One of the hurdles of the hard road is that it is the result of many easy choices. These become habitual, and habits are difficult to break. If you are already on the hard road, you’ve programmed yourself to make easy choices, so making the many hard choices needed to get off this road is not something that comes naturally. After all, it’s easy choices that have led you down the road of least resistance.

Another hurdle of the hard road is related. Because getting off this road requires hard choices, people on this road will put roadblocks in the way of change. Anyone who comes along with advice will be told exactly why the suggested change cannot take place. A person on the hard road will find it very hard to admit their responsibility for the difficulties they are in, and to do so can crush a person’s sense of worth. Having been accustomed to making easy choices, not many will wish to see themselves in this difficult light, but will instead opt for what is much easier: self-delusion and blaming.

So can one get off the hard road? Yes. It requires taking full responsibility for being on that road. You might not be fully responsible for the mess you are in, but anything less than claiming that responsibility will not do. Act like you are responsible for the situation, and look at what you must do to resolve it. This is the adult thing to do. It’s probably a decision you want to share with another responsible friend who can help hold you accountable.

State Control and Economics

The principal effects of state economic control are familiar…they politicize life and provoke tension. They restrict the movement of people, ideas, commodities and financial resources. They curtail the volume and diversity of external contacts, and inhibit productive capital formation and obstruct both economic change and the effective deployment of human, financial and physical resources. They divorce economic activity from consumer demand…Their operation confers monopolistic or windfall profits and benefits on some people and inflicts losses on others…

P T Bauer, Equality, the Third World, and Economic Delusion quoted in The Poverty of Nations by Wayne Grudem and Barry Asmus

Riches and the Christian

Wealth is something Christians in the West should certainly think about because, by any objective standard, we are all wealthy. We have at our fingertips more than the great kings of old could have dreamed of. Sure, some of us have less than others, but even those who are relatively poor in our nation are wealthy by biblical standards, so when we read passages in Scripture on wealth, we should read these with our ears pricked up.

Command those who are rich in this present world not to be arrogant nor to put their hope in wealth, which is so uncertain, but to put their hope in God, who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment. Command them to do good, to be rich in good deeds, and to be generous and willing to share. In this way, they will lay up treasure for themselves as a firm foundation for the coming age, so that they may take hold of the life that is truly life.

I Timothy 6:17-19

One of the great dangers we face is demonizing wealth. This has been a common course in church history. We still hear it today from many Christians. Wealth corrupts and turns hearts from Christ. Thus, from the pulpit, we will often hear of the dangers of wealth and the importance of giving it away – especially to the church! Of course, it is true that wealth can corrupt our hearts. Moses warned the Israelites of this truth in Deuteronomy. Moses was worried that when Israel was settled in the Promised Land that they would become complacent.

Yet for all that, many saints have been rich. Abraham the father of faith was a very wealthy man. Here in writing to Timothy, Paul urges his son in the faith to charge the wealthy not to put their hope in wealth but God. At the same time, he avoids associating sin with the wealth itself. Instead, he reminds Timothy that it is God who richly provides everything for our enjoyment. Wealth is a blessing from God, and something we can enjoy without guilt. Sure it can be turned into a curse when we make it our hope, but like any good thing that comes from God, it should direct our hearts to God, and then to others in love and generosity. If God has blessed you with wealth, and if you are reading this from a phone in a home in a Western country, he has, then thank God for your wealth. Enjoy it, and bless others with it by sharing the blessings you have received.

This generosity lays up a firm foundation for the coming age. By giving and sharing we take hold of what is truly life. Just as Christ by giving up his riches and losing his life provided life, we too by giving ourselves and our wealth reflect Christ and reflect the paradoxical truth of his universe that giving of self is the only way we can lay hold of life.

Reddit Parenting Advice #2

Recently I decided to get in on the parenting advice act. Today we are looking at the issue of weight. This is an issue that is becoming more common among children. As a teacher who occasionally takes some outdoor education trips, I notice that what should be within the realms of capability for every student is now considered by some parents as too arduous.

Hi! Ive been very unsure on posting about this but I’m confident I’m not the only parent who worries about this, so I’m hoping to have a healthy discussion and maybe get some sound advice. We recently moved from our home state to a new one, and that’s really when I started to notice the weight gain in my daughter. She’s 7 and about 4’2” so she’s pretty tall for her age. I can attribute most of the gain to being in virtual school due to Covid and definitely not being as active due to not having a recess or much time to play outside, but also just the stress being in a new place with no friends or family has put on her. And because we are in doors a lot, she’s constantly wanting to snack on things. We live up North so the weather is just now getting to where I can start taking her outside and to the park regularly, so I’m sure that will help a lot also.

I guess I’m just wanting some tips, mostly to keep me from obsessing over it. She is considered overweight at her age and height, but she’s also very tall for her age.

While I’m no expert nutritionist, my basic understanding of weight gain is energy in exceeds energy out. So there are two aspects to look at. Consider energy in. Today in the Western we have more than enough food – even the very poorest among us. Compounding that, a lot of our food is high in sugar and low in nutritional value. So what could the problem be? One clue is that free snacking could be an issue. We have here a 7-year-old who is constantly wanting to snack on things. This is an issue I’ve seen in many households. I remember distinctly going to a friend’s house some years back, and their young boy was snacking away on unhealthy snacks not long before dinner time. Come dinner time he had no desire to eat the roast lamb dinner and vegetables. However, not long after dinner, he continued to snack on more unhealthy food.

So my first piece of advice would be to make sure that you the parent control your child’s intake of food. My wife is a stickler for this. She has trained our children so that they do not pick something up out of the fridge or pantry and eat it. These are her domain, not theirs. She issues the rations for the troops, and they eat said rations. There are times for food (breakfast, morning tea, lunch, afternoon tea and dinner), and there are times when you do not eat. Your child eats at the times food is offered to them, and they do not eat in between those times. In our days of loose parenting, I see young children assume the responsibility for their own nutrition and feeding. A child’s appetites are not to be trusted. No doubt many of us remember as children gorging ourselves at birthday parties and then suffering the consequences and ruing our lack of self-control standing over the toilet some hours later. As usual, parenting philosophy drives practice.

Secondly consider energy out. While we do not know a lot about the individual circumstance here, we do know that children today are more sedentary than children of previous generations. A large amount of blame can be directed to their discretionary screen time. Another aspect is precious parenting. We can be overly afraid of our children being outside because “it’s dangerous”. Additionally, we see our role as taking our children to activities or the park where parents of previous generations did not seem to think their job was to entertain children. When I was a child, I was allowed to walk to the park from a relatively young age with a friend. In fact, I remember a common refrain from my parents, “Go outside and play.” In some areas, this may not be wise, but our children can surely run around in the back yard, or build a snowman on the sidewalk. So my advice here? Reduce discretionary screen time significantly. Tell your child to get outdoors and play and be OK with the muddy clothes that may be a result.

Producing Arrogant Ignorance

Recently some students in Wellington skipped school and marched demanding government action on climate change. Photographs of the event unsurprisingly featured crowds of mostly young women with that look. You know, that wide-eyed earnest but naive and slightly unhinged do-gooder look which makes even the most die-hard egalitarian sometimes wish we didn’t have universal suffrage! Our education system is producing arrogant ignorance.

The zealous sweethearts attending the march exude condescension and arrogance. One of the signs read “We’re giving up lessons to teach you one.” You didn’t know you needed a teenage girl to teach you did you? Another girl confidently insisted we need more climate change education in schools and expounded, “We only have a limited amount of time left before the effects of climate change become irreversible…” I guess one could agree with her on the requirement of more education on climate change, but our meaning is no doubt diametrically opposed.

Arrogance is the end result of an education system that is child-centred and that rejects rigour and depth of knowledge. Our approach to education teaches children that they know what is best and they are at the centre of the learning process. We’ve attracted teachers who see themselves as facilitators of learning rather than experts who want to pass on civilizational riches to the next generation. The long term consequences? Ignorant children who hector and bully adults despite being more ignorant and poorly educated than previous generations.

Unlike these poor dears who have only been toilet trained for just over a decade, those of us who are educated and have been around a little while know that confident ‘scientific’ predictions are often total bosh. Take Paul Erlich. In 1970 he said, “Population will inevitably and completely outstrip whatever small increases in food supplies we make. The death rate will increase until at least 100-200 million people per year will be starving to death during the next ten years.” Or what about Life which ran an article in 1970 saying, “Scientists have solid experimental and theoretical evidence to support…the following predictions: In a decade, urban dwellers will have to wear gas masks to survive air pollution…by 1985 air pollution will have reduced the amount of sunlight reaching earth by one half….” So spare us the doomsday predictions. We’ve heard it all before.

We don’t need to be lectured by kids who know next to nothing about anything. What we need is education that provides children with a depth of knowledge. We need an education system that provides rigour and challenge. We need an education system that teaches children humility – one that demonstrates to them how little they do know and how often the ‘wise’ have acted like fools. We need an education system that is not thinly veiled political propaganda. Instead, our largely female teaching body and our feminine dominated approach to education have reduced our education system to feel-good slogans and used naive, anxious and emotionally-driven children as pawns in political activism.

Politics and Religion

I read with interest a report into Christopher Luxon’s maiden speech in Parliament. Luxon shows concern that people who are Christians are seen as extreme. He seems keen to show the positives of his faith. He is quoted saying, “It [Christianity] has anchored me, given my life purpose and shaped my values – and it puts me in the context of something bigger than myself,” This is noble and helpful. If more politicians understood that there was something bigger than themselves we would be in a far better position. Anyone who acknowledges there is a king above them to whom they must give an account is on far safer ground than those who deny God and cosmic justice.

However, he seems to misunderstand other aspects of the Christian faith. He says, “I see Jesus showing compassion, tolerance and care for others. He doesn’t judge, discriminate or reject people. He loves unconditionally.” While there is an element of truth here, in that Jesus said, “I did not come to judge the world but to save the world,” he also said, “The one who rejects me and does not receive my words has a judge; the word that I have spoken will judge him on the last day.”

Furthermore, he seems greatly confused about the role of faith in politics. On the one hand, he highlights the role of Christianity in fighting injustice when he acknowledges William Wilberforce, but he goes on to claim that his faith is personal. He says of his faith, “It is not in itself a political agenda. I believe no religion should dictate to the state. And no politician should use the political platform they have to force their beliefs on others.” Well, which is it? Will your faith impact the decisions and actions you take as one of the leaders of our country, or will they have no influence? How can our worldview and faith not impact our politics? Do you think the religious beliefs of men like Stalin and Hitler had no bearing on their political actions? Do you think that our current government does not let their godless beliefs impact their agenda in issues like euthanasia, child sacrifice abortion and the economy? Of course, your faith beliefs and presuppositions are going to impact your politics. If Christ is indeed king, own that and have the courage to say that you will act in a way that acknowledges his kingship and do all in your power to see him honoured for who he is. Otherwise, you are living as a member of another religion.

Teaching Your Children to Show Respect

When I was growing up, there was a real distinction between children and adults. This distinction was demonstrated in many ways, but one that is fading out of existence is the use of titles. I would never have dared to call John Smith by his Christian name. Rather I addressed him as Mr. Smith. Even a young unmarried woman would be addressed with the title Miss. For adults who were family, we would address them with their title: Mum, Dad, Aunty, Uncle, Nana and so on. In situations where we had close family friends, we would address them with Uncle or Aunty and then their first name. While this was the tradition of our culture, I believe there was intent behind it. The intent was for children to realise that there was a distinction and distance between them and adults. Children were most certainly not on par with adults.

The world has changed. In some households, children call their parents by their first name. A number of schools have dispensed with titles. But where I have seen the biggest change is in general culture. In my church, children call me by my first name. In children’s church, my children are encouraged to call their leaders (adults) by their Christian names. This is now normal.

“So what!’ you might say. Not so fast. Little cultural habits matter. They have a message. What is the message that our culture is sending? Children and adults are interchangeable. Adults are not hierarchically above children. They are on the same level. And even if you as a parent disagree with this message, you live and breathe and parent in this culture. Your children are growing up with this cultural worldview. Whether this change is symptomatic of the lack of respect children have for adults, or whether it is part of the cause, there is no doubt we are living in an age where children do not have a healthy respect for adults in general. That is why in our churches we have children who feel no fear in refusing to do what an adult asks them to do.

Where else do we see this message preached by our culture? In the schools. Schools have become child-centred in their approach to learning. Children decide what they want to learn and how they want to learn it. Teachers become facilitators. We see it in youth crime, where young teens are routinely arrested for crime and abuse police officers. We see it in our government taking away the use of physical force as a form of discipline. We see it in our culture celebrating children deciding what gender they identify as. Our culture has tried to flatten the distinction between adult and child, and the ruination of childhood is the result.

It is the small things that signal cultural values. So contrary to common advice, do sweat the small stuff. Talk to your pastor about these things. Require children to address you with your title. It’s not about whether you feel comfortable about it or not. Your comfort is less important than developing a culture that teachers respect for age. Require your own children to address people with titles. Small things matter.