Reddit Parenting Advice #2

Recently I decided to get in on the parenting advice act. Today we are looking at the issue of weight. This is an issue that is becoming more common among children. As a teacher who occasionally takes some outdoor education trips, I notice that what should be within the realms of capability for every student is now considered by some parents as too arduous.

Hi! Ive been very unsure on posting about this but I’m confident I’m not the only parent who worries about this, so I’m hoping to have a healthy discussion and maybe get some sound advice. We recently moved from our home state to a new one, and that’s really when I started to notice the weight gain in my daughter. She’s 7 and about 4’2” so she’s pretty tall for her age. I can attribute most of the gain to being in virtual school due to Covid and definitely not being as active due to not having a recess or much time to play outside, but also just the stress being in a new place with no friends or family has put on her. And because we are in doors a lot, she’s constantly wanting to snack on things. We live up North so the weather is just now getting to where I can start taking her outside and to the park regularly, so I’m sure that will help a lot also.

I guess I’m just wanting some tips, mostly to keep me from obsessing over it. She is considered overweight at her age and height, but she’s also very tall for her age.

While I’m no expert nutritionist, my basic understanding of weight gain is energy in exceeds energy out. So there are two aspects to look at. Consider energy in. Today in the Western we have more than enough food – even the very poorest among us. Compounding that, a lot of our food is high in sugar and low in nutritional value. So what could the problem be? One clue is that free snacking could be an issue. We have here a 7-year-old who is constantly wanting to snack on things. This is an issue I’ve seen in many households. I remember distinctly going to a friend’s house some years back, and their young boy was snacking away on unhealthy snacks not long before dinner time. Come dinner time he had no desire to eat the roast lamb dinner and vegetables. However, not long after dinner, he continued to snack on more unhealthy food.

So my first piece of advice would be to make sure that you the parent control your child’s intake of food. My wife is a stickler for this. She has trained our children so that they do not pick something up out of the fridge or pantry and eat it. These are her domain, not theirs. She issues the rations for the troops, and they eat said rations. There are times for food (breakfast, morning tea, lunch, afternoon tea and dinner), and there are times when you do not eat. Your child eats at the times food is offered to them, and they do not eat in between those times. In our days of loose parenting, I see young children assume the responsibility for their own nutrition and feeding. A child’s appetites are not to be trusted. No doubt many of us remember as children gorging ourselves at birthday parties and then suffering the consequences and ruing our lack of self-control standing over the toilet some hours later. As usual, parenting philosophy drives practice.

Secondly consider energy out. While we do not know a lot about the individual circumstance here, we do know that children today are more sedentary than children of previous generations. A large amount of blame can be directed to their discretionary screen time. Another aspect is precious parenting. We can be overly afraid of our children being outside because “it’s dangerous”. Additionally, we see our role as taking our children to activities or the park where parents of previous generations did not seem to think their job was to entertain children. When I was a child, I was allowed to walk to the park from a relatively young age with a friend. In fact, I remember a common refrain from my parents, “Go outside and play.” In some areas, this may not be wise, but our children can surely run around in the back yard, or build a snowman on the sidewalk. So my advice here? Reduce discretionary screen time significantly. Tell your child to get outdoors and play and be OK with the muddy clothes that may be a result.