The Directory for Private (Family) Worship #3

Today we continue working our way through the directory for private worship. Last week, we considered the second direction for family worship. We saw that there were three regular aspects to family worship that the church leaders encouraged. First there was prayer both for the church, for the kingdom and for the needs of the family. Secondly, they were to read and teach the Scriptures in an understandable way. One of the ways that was encouraged was the catechising of the family. Finally, there was an encouragement to admonish and rebuke family members ‘for just reasons’. Sin must never be allowed to fester in the Christian family. Let us now look to the third direction.

As the charge and office of interpreting the holy scriptures is a part of the ministerial calling, which none (however otherwise qualified) should take upon him in any place, but he that is duly called thereunto by God and his kirk; so in every family where there is any that can read, the holy scriptures should be read ordinarily to the family; and it is commendable, that thereafter they confer, and by way of conference make some good use of what hath been read and heard. As, for example, if any sin be reproved in the word read, use may be made thereof to make all the family circumspect and watchful against the same; or if any judgment be threatened, or mentioned to have been inflicted, in that portion of scripture which is read, use may be made to make all the family fear lest the same or a worse judgment befall them, unless they beware of the sin that procured it: and, finally, if any duty be required, or comfort held forth in a promise, use may be made to stir up themselves to employ Christ for strength to enable them for doing the commanded duty, and to apply the offered comfort. In all which the master of the family is to have the chief hand; and any member of the family may propone a question or doubt for resolution.

This is an interesting direction. It begins with something that I’m not sure is biblical. It seems to be arguing that the only person who should interpret the Scriptures is someone who is called to by God and the church, so presumably pastors. While I would agree that ideally our pastors should be the most qualified in reading and interpreting the Scriptures, it would seem to me that there is no biblical reason that other Christians should not be seeking to do so themselves.

Nevertheless, it seems that the framers of this directory argue that it is important for every family to read the Scriptures together and then ‘confer’ and ‘make good use of what hath been read and heard.’ I note that the word here is confer rather than interpret, but it seems to me, we are all ‘interpreting’ when we seek to make good use of the Scriptures we have read. Indeed, Ephesians 6:4 instructs fathers to bring their children up in the training and instruction of the Lord. Presumably being able to interpret Scripture is an important aspect of this. Perhaps I am misunderstanding the distinction being made here.

Despite this, I think the point being made here is helpful. When we sit down and read the Scriptures together as a household, it is good to consider together what Christ is saying to us through his word. It is a good opportunity for us to reprove or confess sin, to warn each other of the dangers and judgments that await those who reject God’s word, to comfort each other with the comfort of Christ or to encourage each other on toward love and good deeds. The final reminder is the importance of having a master in the family who is leading the discussion and the opportunity for all members of the household to ask questions or express doubts so that they can be worked through. This is wisdom. To the fathers, and those who aspire to lead families, this calls for regular study and reading of Scripture ourselves so that we can lead our families well in this area.

Reddit Parenting Advice #8 – Boys and Screens

The Reddit parenting subreddit has been useful in finding food for thought on this blog. We have investigate issues pertaining to sleep, weight, oppositional defiance disorder, and children vs career among other topics. Today we are looking at boys and screens.

 I need academic advice. We had to ground my son from electronics due to low grades and not paying attention in class. He has them back since he did improve (a little) he is still struggling with math and science and sometimes reading. He only has them on the weekends after he studies during the week and does his morning routine. We did equal work for equal play. So he doesn’t study he doesn’t play. But I know he also used to really depend on help from his grandma to do his homework. When we moved we had him doing it on his own and it was a struggle. He couldn’t. He asked us questions all the time and for breaks when he only had like 4 questions done. My mom didn’t help us. We got what we got the only thing she did was make sure we got our homework done. Even for project, she got us the supplies but we did 90% of the work. What could be the issue games or too much help? Do you parents help your kids with school or let them get what they earn? Do you parents have gamer kids who are doing good in their academics? Do you limit or not limit? Or should I just not worry and let him be let natural consequences take its course. Like he fails he will have to repeat the grade. He does enjoy getting good grades, so my fear is if he keeps struggling he might lose interest in his academics.

So in summary we have a 9 year old boy who has been grounded from electronics due to low grades and lack of focus in class. This parent has noticed that her son is relies heavily on grandma to get his homework done, and is wondering whether games are potential behind his lethargy regarding effort in school work.

This is a great question. As a teacher, I have seen all too often that boys and screens are an unfortunate combination. There is something about gaming that is attractive to boys. It tends to become an all-consuming passion for many, and can become the only topic of conversation, even in the playground. I once did an informal survey of a 9-11 year old class I taught. One of the boys spent 14 hours gaming in a matter of a few days. Needless to say, he was not in good academic shape. His writing was boring, because he had few real world experiences and read very little outside of school. His maths was also sub par. He was a nice boy, but he was headed for low skill employment, all because his parents refused to take responsibility for the indirect teaching that screen time represents.

When considering boys (or indeed children) and screens, a parent must do a cost benefit analysis. I have done one with my children, and found that the benefits of allowing them regular discretionary screen time are fairly minimal. The costs are considerable and are too often ignored. As a family we have decided that we value our children engaging in creative play, reading, and outdoor fun far more than we value gaming and TV watching. Accordingly, we have never allowed our children to play video games unattended, and they rarely play them at all. They might watch a movie once or twice a month. It’s not that these things are bad, it’s that we believe there are better things they can be doing.

How does this work out for us? Fairly well. We notice our children can amuse themselves for hours with imaginary games. They do not whine to watch TV or play on a tablet. It is just not a part of their normal expectations of life. Has this made a difference academically? One of our children is a boy in this 9-year-old sort of range. He is like many other boys of this age – not super at focussing, and not hugely interested in school work. However, he can be given tasks to complete. He loves making things, and will occupy himself with cardboard and scissors and string making odd contraptions. We try not to baby him when it comes to projects and expect him to take a lead in doing the work. Sure he has a long way to go, but he does not have the addictive poison of screen time which dampens a boy’s natural interest in God’s world running through his veins.

So my advice to parents would be this. Avoid video games for your boys. Boys easily become addicted to them, and they become consumed by them. If you do decide to go this route, make it a family activity. By this I mean it should be something done in the family community. For example, once a month could be PlayStation night and children and parents gather in the lounge together and play a game with each other, taking turns. In my opinion, avoid at all costs allowing your boy to have a computer or device that he is allowed to pick up and play games on when he feels like it. This is not conducive to a boy’s development of responsible masculinity. Restrict and control the use of screens so that it is a small part of your boys life. Find better things for your boy to do. Think about what activities will help him develop real-life skills that will aid him become a responsible man who can lead his family well.

Masculinity

…we must cease the destructive chatter about “gender roles,” as if they were thoroughly arbitrary and not built upon nature….A role is something we pick up as actors, and we can exchange one role for another. A man can act like a dog, but not very well, because in fact he is not a dog. A man can act like a woman, but not very well, because in fact he is not a woman. When a man is a man, he is not simply playing a role. He is fulfilling his being.

Anthony Esolen in “Out of the Ashes”

Ban the Phrase “Full-Time Christian Ministry”

Have you ever heard the phrase “full-time Christian ministry”? I think it’s time we stopped using phrases like it. They help entrench an unholy dualism in Christian minds and cause us to imagine there are two tiers of Christians. On the one hand, we have the elites; those who ‘do’ ministry. These are the truly ‘on fire for God’ Christians. They are the ones who are ministering with all of their lives. Then there are the rest of us ordinary Christians who get along to church, but spend much of our lives plodding along doing less significant things. Sometimes, this group are thought of, as Douglas Wilson puts it, as ‘breeders’ and ‘tithers’. Yes, we’re back to the topic of vocation.

What is generally meant by ‘full-time Christian ministry? People who use this phrase are thinking of pastors, church workers, missionaries and people whose work is in parachurch organisations. Now, these are wonderful God-given roles. We should in no way denigrate them. Yet most Christians are not and will never find themselves in these situations. Does that mean that most Christians are living lives that are somehow less pleasing to God? Should pastors encourage church members to cut back on their ‘secular’ or non-church obligations so they can assist more in institutional church ministries by conflating this as giving up something for the sake of the gospel? No! God has not called every Christian to work as pastors or church workers, and that means that the positions we are called to, cannot be inherently lacking in value or less significant.

Interestingly, in Ephesians 4:11-12 we read that Christ ‘gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the shepherds and teachers, to equip the saints for the work of ministry, for building up the body of Christ.’ This flies in the face of the dualistic perception we often have. We tend to think that it is the pastors and teachers of the church who do the work of ministry, and the members of the church assist them in doing it by giving money to the church. Not so! Our pastors, by opening the Word of God to us, are designed to equip us to do works of ministry.

So, every Christian is in full-time Christian ministry. If they are not, they are sinning. Being a Christian impacts everything. After all, Jesus Christ rules this earth right now. So as a father, you are called to engage in that duty as a subject of the king, loving and serving your children. That’s Christian ministry. As a doctor, you are called to minister as Christ’s agent by loving and serving those you try to physically help. That’s Christian ministry. As a retail assistant, you are ministering Christ to your customers as you love them and assist them to find the best solution for their needs. That’s Christian ministry. We need to get away from the nonsense that unless you are engaging in a five-point gospel presentation with a work colleague (as important as this is) that your work is just marking time or simply aiding you to feed your family.

Let’s cast off the dualistic notion that there is a sacred or spiritual realm that is more important than a secular or earthly realm. After all, God created this earth and described it as very good. He doesn’t zap us into heaven when we come to Christ, but calls us to live out our trust in the King as we live in his realm. We are to seek to see his kingdom come and his will be done here on this earth. That means Christian living is not just about what happens when we are praying or singing worship songs or helping out with an institutional church ministry. It happens all day every day in whatever legitimate arena of life God calls us to.

The Directory for Private (Family) Worship #2

We are working our way through the directory for private worship. Last week, we considered the first direction for private worship. We saw that individuals in the household were to be reading the Scriptures and praying on their own, and that the head of the household was responsible for seeing this attended to. Today we move on to the second direction.

II. The ordinary duties comprehended under the exercise of piety which should be in families, when they are convened to that effect, are these: First, Prayer and praises performed with a special reference, as well to the publick condition of the kirk of God and this kingdom, as to the present case of the family, and every member thereof. Next, Reading of the scriptures, with catechising in a plain way, that the understandings of the simpler may be the better enabled to profit under the publick ordinances, and they made more capable to understand the scriptures when they are read; together with godly conferences tending to the edification of all the members in the most holy faith: as also, admonition and rebuke, upon just reasons, from those who have authority in the family.

In this direction, three ordinary duties that should be regularly undertaken in families are envisaged. First of all prayer and praise. The framers of this directory suggest three primary areas of prayer. Prayer in the family should focus on the condition of the kirk or church, and ‘this kingdom’, by which I think they are speaking of the realm of Scotland. Additionally, prayers should be made with respect to the family and the individuals within it.

Secondly, the Scriptures ought to be read and taught in a plain way. The concept of catechising implies the use of catechisms such as the Westminster Shorter Catechism which was designed to teach good doctrine to children. Today, many have a negative view of catechisms. Some of the criticisms are that catechisms do not change hearts, and that we should let each Scripture speak for itself rather than treat the Bible like an encyclopedia of doctrine. In defence of catechisms, it is important to note that all of us read Scripture through a theological lens, and it is preferable to read it through a lens that was constructed by men who were theologically sharp than lenses made out of a bit of plastic perspex which we have put together ourselves from some poorly written worship songs and some evangelical memes. The benefit of this kind of family worship to the church is significant. When families are conducting this kind of teaching at home, churches can lift their game in teaching, because those attending will be ‘more capable to understand the scriptures when they are read’.

The third duty recommended by this directory is admonition and rebuke. The framers of the directory add the phrase ‘upon just reasons’. Here fathers are required to rebuke the members of their households for sin. We should not look the other way to keep peace, as tempting as it sometimes is. Rather we are to be directly involved not just in teaching the Scriptures, but in applying the truths of Scripture into the life of the family.